Barbara had known about New Friends New Life for at least seven or eight months. Another dancer at the club had given her their phone number. But Barbara had not called. She wasn’t ready. At least, not until “I had solicited an undercover police officer,” Barbara said. “That was my last day dancing. August 28, 2007.”

In September, she came to her first Wednesday night meeting, a little nervous. She knew the New Friends New Life program would be hard. Building a new life independent of the sex industry would demand self-discipline, determination, and commitment, especially if she was going to adhere to NFNL’s method. But she was ready.

Barbara had already put together a resume and gotten leads on conventional jobs. She hadn’t danced in weeks. New Friends New Life offered a little something more, something that would change her life and her son’s life.

“You don’t trust people coming out of a business like this,” Barbara said. “You build this defense wall.”

But enrolling in the program as a protégé, coming to the Wednesday night bible study and support group– a weekly requirement for the NFNL program – and working with her advocate, Irie, she began to let her wall come down.

“She was a mentor, more of a mother-type figure,” Barbara said of Irie. “She had that passion, willing to listen to whatever you had to talk about. She wasn’t going to let you make a bad decision.”

Even then, the process was – as she expected – a challenge. “Going from more of a high class, independent lifestyle to letting an organization help me take control of my life, that was tough,” Barbara said.

As her advocate, Irie partnered with Barbara to help her meet the challenges of her lifestyle shift by helping her sort out her living situation, transition between jobs, keep track of her finances, and pay her bills if necessary by appropriating New Friends New Life funds.

New Friends New Life also “helped me trust and understand the word of God,” Barbara said.

Because NFNL is a faith-based organization, Wednesday night sessions include a bible study component, designed to provide the program participants, or the protégés, with spiritual support, reassuring them of Christ’s love for and acceptance of them.

“I knew about church, but I kind of lost it all living the lifestyle that I was living,” Barbara said. While “they don’t force any kind of beliefs on you,” Wednesday nights gave Barbara the confidence to visit different congregations, know what she was looking for, and pick the church that was right for her.

Perhaps even more importantly, Barbara had to learn to trust herself.

“I was pushed out a little too young,” she said. She graduated from high school a year early and entered the industry shortly thereafter.

Because her older sister had been a dancer, Barbara was exposed to the industry early on and had always admired her sister’s clothes and money.

After graduation, when she was afraid of falling short of her family and friends’ high expectations of her, Barbara knew how she could find economic success.

“I was trying to be more of what other people wanted and expected me to be, rather than what I wanted to be,” Barbara said. “I went to school to be a nurse for a short spell, also majored in Criminal Justice and didn’t succeed. Since I was afraid I couldn’t fulfill everyone else’s expectations, at least I could go out there and make a lot of money and be independent.”

Since leaving the industry, however, Barbara’s resourcefulness has served her well. She’s worked two different jobs since leaving the industry, and is currently employed at a major Dallas corporation.

What has made the biggest difference to Barbara, however, is not her own personal success. She sees the most value in what New Friends New Life has done for her son.

“I think the best thing was that my child got exposed to a Christian atmosphere. He started when he was five and he got use to going on Wednesdays. He’s nine now. It motivated me to keep doing what I was doing, because once you saw a difference in me, you saw a difference in him.”

After graduating from the NFNL program two years ago, Barbara is now engaged to be married and is a protégé leader for New Friends New Life, acting as a mentor to women who are going through what she has already been through.

“It takes a lot to get out there and tell your story…. You don’t know who’s listening to you. You’re still a little hurt from your past.  And every time I talk something new comes out that I had forgotten about. That’ s dangerous right there.”

But Barbara was ready to speak, to share her story with the women who need to hear it most, the ones who are still in the process of leaving the sex industry.

Barbara shines as an example of a strong woman who decided to change her lifestyle, and who did it independently, but not by herself. And that is what the New Friends New Life program- community, family- is all about.

“I was molested at the age of seven,” she said. “I think that’s what got me started [in prostitution.] I was always wanting a man’s approval.”

Before long, she was working in a brothel and abusing drugs and alcohol. Eventually, she went to jail, where she met a woman who told her about New Friends New Life.

“When I got out of jail, I knew I didn’t want to go back to living that kind of life,” she said. “I went to New Friends New Life. That was a new start for my journey.

Dana began attending Wednesday night meetings, which include dinner, a Bible study and a life skills session required for participation in the New Friends New Life program. These meetings offered her something that had been missing from her life: a community of women whom she could trust.

“I was used to being around women, but I was kind of a loner.” Dana said. “We used to bicker about who could bring in the most money… I used to be ready to fight other women, you know?”

At New Friends New Life, however, Dana found true friends. She found women she could relate to and confide in, women who would change her life.

“I learned how to bond with women, and it was women that were just like me,” she said. “It took a minute, but I was able to open up and share some things with them.”

As Dana continued to attend Wednesday night meetings and grow her network of support, she became a protégé in the NFNL program. As a protégé, she was partnered with an advocate, Michelle, who served as her mentor as she transitioned to self-sufficiency through conventional employment.

Michelle helped Dana budget and set goals, encouraged her to go back to school and supported her as she applied for and ultimately got a job in business administration.

“I’ve had jobs, but I would quit them. This time, I made up my mind that this was something I was going to stick with,” Dana said. “I never had a job where I liked to go to work. But this one, I love it.”

The most important thing that New Friends New Life did for Dana, however, was bring her closer to Christ.

“I was spiritually, mentally, physically bankrupt,” she said. “When I was in prostitution, sometimes I would go to church. To be honest, I even prostituted with the pastor. That’s what made me stay away from the church.”

However, participating in weekly New Friends New Life Bible studies, Dana rediscovered God.

“I built a relationship with God when I thought God had left me. And he hadn’t. I had left him. He was still right there,” she said.

Her journey was not without its challenges. The most difficult part, Dana said, was learning how to be a mother.

“My mom raised my children, then I got my children back,” Dana said. “After all those years, I didn’t know how to be a mother, so I took parenting classes.”

Through New Friends, Dana also received counseling services. Though she admitted that she was reluctant to open up at first, her counselor and her advocate eventually encouraged her to talk about what she had been through during one-on-one sessions.

“I have so many scars,” she said. “I would go out there, work the streets, wait in the house, give them my money. I almost lost my life a few times… [Through counseling] I was able to deal with a lot of things that I hadn’t dealt with in years, like being molested.”

Dana graduated from the New Friends New Life program in April 2010, and now aims to serve as a protégé leader — a role model, resource, and friend for current and incoming protégés.

When Dana first starting coming to New Friends New Life, it was a huge help “just to know that I wasn’t by myself, that other women were going through this,” she said. By sharing her story, Dana hopes that she can help other women turn their lives around, just like the women of New Friends New Life helped her.

“New Friends New Life really helped me learn how to be responsible, learn how to be a mother, learn how to love me… If it wasn’t for their program, I don’t know where I’d be. I’d probably still be in the whorehouse, waiting for a man to pick me, pick me.”

Tom Thumb Good Neighbor Program

1% of your grocery donations will be donated to NFNL each quarter. Click the link above to retrieve the application, complete the form, and turn in at customer service at Tom Thumb. This will link your Rewards Card with giving to New Friends New Life. You can share your giving between other non-profits if you are already signed up with other non-profits. Our Charity number is 8891.

Kroger Neighbor to Neighbor Program

Kroger will contribute a percentage of your eligible purchases to the Kroger Neighbor to Neighbor Donation Fund every time you use your KrogerPlus Card. At the end of the program year, New Friends New Life will receive a percentage of the $1 million Neighbor to Neighbor Donation Fund equal to the percentage of total earned contributions. Print this form and present it to a Kroger cashier to link your KrogerPlus card to NFNL for the remainder of the program year, which ends April 30, 2012. You may only link your KrogerPlus card to one organization at a time.

Search the web with GoodSearch.com and each time you do a search, GoodSearch will donate about a penny to our cause! Shop online at GoodShop.com and a percentage of each purchase will be donated to our cause! More than 600 top stores are participating including Amazon, Target, Staples, Best Buy and more!

Cards for Causes provides holiday cards, thank you cards, birthday cards or invitations or announcements with 20% donated to the non-profit of your choice.

iGive is a free search engine which enables members to earn money for their favorite causes whenever they make and online purchase or search the web.

New Friends New Life took part in Get up and Give! North Texas Giving Day on September 15. On that day, every gift of $25 or more was proportionally matched when given through DonorBridge, North Texas’ online resource that connects donors with nonprofit organizations. We grossed over $23,922 in donations thanks to our generous supporters and the matching funds received!

DonorBridge distributed over $1 million in matching funds to North Texas nonprofits, thanks to generous gifts from the Communities Fondation of Texas, Hobilitzelle Foundation, The Meadows foundation, Rees-Jones Foundation, and an anonymous donor.

Over 85% of New Friends New Life’s operating budget goes toward program expenses, which means that your donations directly help our protégés build new lives for themselves and their children.

See Katie Pedigo in Donorbridge’s North Texas Giving Day promotional video below.

In fact, over 80% of the women we serve who have been sexually exploited have children who have been affected by unstable home environments, where neglect, violence, and abuse are common. The mothers in the NFNL program work tirelessly to improve the family environment and future opportunities for their children.

NFNL provides all of our children with scholastic tutoring or enrichment, counseling services, and Wednesday night programs that meet their physical, mental, and spiritual needs.

Transforming the lives of women includes caring for their children. You can be the difference in the life of a mother and child by contributing to New Friends New Life.

A $100 contribution will provide school clothes and supplies. A $500 donation will provide a preschooler with a hot meal and sessions with counselors and preschool teachers every Wednesday for a year . A gift of $1000 will provide an elementary or secondary student with counseling services, Wednesday night meals, tutoring, and summer camp opportunities. A gift of $5,000 will fund counseling programs for at-risk teens in the Dallas County Juvenile Detention Centers.

As our children are getting ready to go back to school, please consider making a donation. We are truly grateful for your support.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Bent Tree Country Club

9:00 a.m. Round Robin Start

12:00 p.m. Ruthie’s Rolling Cafe catered lunch

All Proceeds go to New Friends New Life.

Tennis Tournament Chairs: Jan Osborn, Heather Hunt, and Kathy Jackson

Sponsorship opportunities are available for this fundraiser. For more information concerning sponsorship levels, download this flyer. To secure a sponsorship position, complete the online form below or mail payment along with this form.

Doubles play only. Players must play at the highest player’s rating and are expected to compete in the correct USTA level and/or TCD level. The Pro reserves the right to place players in appropriate levels. Prizes will be awarded for first and second place in each of the rounds.

Pricing level

Doubles team – 2 entries $250.00 Volley Sponsorship – 2 entries $500.00 Ace Sponsorship – 2 entries plus court banner $1,000.00 Lunch Sponsorship – 4 entries, court banner, lunch recognition $2,500.00 Grand Slam sponsor – 6 entries, 2 show court banners $5,000.00 Title Sponsor – 8 entries, highest promotions $10,000.00

Player’s Names and Levels

70-90% of commercially exploited women were victims of childhood sexual abuse.

These statistics are staggering, yet during its 13-year history, New Friends New Life has found them to be quite accurate. To address this reality, NFNL instituted a program on abuse for girls at the Dallas County Juvenile Detention Center. Last week, a group of 11 girls ranging from 13 to 17 years old, graduated from the 12-week program. And we are so proud of them.

“For most of the women we see at New Friends New Life, usually the circumstances that led up to prostituting included abuse,” said Stephanie Clanton, NFNL counselor and the founder and director of the Juvenile Detention Center program. “This program allows us to deal with the issue before it turns into something where we might see these girls at New Friends New Life.”

The recent graduates are part of the Short Term Adolescent Residential Treatment (START) Program, a residential program for youth who are court-ordered to participate. Their delinquencies vary, but do not include drug abuse.

While a history of abuse – physical, sexual, emotional – was not a requirement for participation in the NFNL program, Clanton found that all but one participant had experienced abuse. However, not all of them realized they’d been abused when they started the program.

That is why the first three weeks of the program are dedicated to defining the different kinds of abuse, recognizing the profile of an abuser, and identifying abusive situations.

“They don’t even realize how it’s affected them,” Clanton said, referring to the girls’ experiences of abuse. “Often times, how they’ve coped directly correlates to their delinquencies.”

During the following four to five weeks, the program explores the effects of abuse, including deadness, isolation, and feelings of powerlessness. The last few weeks are devoted to healing and, ultimately, forgiveness.

Although Clanton leads the weekly sessions, she focuses primarily on facilitating group discussion among the girls, so they can learn to encourage each other or call one another out for negative coping habits.

“To me, it’s really healing for someone to acknowledge something, to talk about it so that they can feel heard,” Clanton said.

For some girls, however, talking about it does not come easily.

“One girl, for the first three or four weeks, was very shut down, very sarcastic,” Clanton said. She denied that she had ever been abused.”

Then, one week the topic of discussion turned to denial, a coping mechanism which Clanton explained often leads to feelings of numbness.

“I allowed the group to speak to this girl in a kind and loving way,” said Clanton. “They told her that they thought she had been in denial as a way of protecting herself from the abuse she had suffered. From that point on, she really started opening up.”

The program at Juvenile Detention Center also helps to spread awareness about New Friends New Life.

One program participant, who had prostituted herself before adjudication, turned eighteen about halfway through the program. This, of course, meant that she could no longer stay in the Juvenile Detention Center. Before leaving, she asked Clanton many questions about New Friends New Life’s adult program, where we are located, what Wednesday night meetings are like.

Clanon hopes to see her come on a Wednesday night.

Thank you to the talented staff at Irving Bible Church who believed in the beauty and power of these women’s stories and worked to share this message with you: Mike Gwartney (Executive Producer), Brandon Jones (Graphic Artist), and Jeff Jones (Producer/Editor).

Please view the video and share it within your circle of influence by using the share this links at the bottom of the page.

Watch and read the story and video coverage on NBC DFW 5.

December 5, 2010 is the New Friends New Life Home Tour featuring three premier homes in the Park Cities decorated for the holiday season. Tickets are $20 for admission to all homes and the Holiday Shoppe. More information is available on the event webpage.

Tickets are no longer available for purchase online as we cannot ensure delivery before the event. You may buy tickets the day of the event at any of the homes or the holiday shoppe. Tickets are also available for purchase at both White Rock Coffee locations (10105 East Northwest Highway or 4216 Abrams Rd).