Hope of a New Life and Brighter Future

Written By: Priya Murphy, NFNL Senior Director of Development

 It was in the year 2003, when I was on a bus with my college band to go sing at a church that was in the middle of the Red-Light District (Kamathipura) in Mumbai, India where I first learned about sex trafficking. Kamathipura is India’s second largest red light district.  I was a sheltered pastor’s kid who was in theology school and knew very little about the awful reality of human trafficking. My eyes were wide open that day as I sat on the bus that drove through the red-light district. I saw many young girls dressed to appear older, waiting to be bought by men. I thought only adults were involved in sex work and by choice, but I was appalled to hear stories of young girls being sold into trafficking. How could this possibly exist in this modern world? My mind could not comprehend. Our host, the ministry pastor explained to our band the reality of the girls in the sex trade and how many were forced into it, and it was never their choice. No little girl ever dreams of being a sex worker when they were five or six years old. It was not their choice to be a sex worker, and some were sold into this trade by their own family members. “Fatima, a 32-year-old sex worker, said the building in which she has lived and worked since being sold by her sister to a brothel owner at the age of 12 is slated for demolition.”- The Guardian.

Once my eyes were opened to the reality of sex trafficking, I made the decision to somehow help the victims of trafficking and bring awareness to this issue but the following year my family moved from India to central Florida, USA. I started researching to find if Sex Trafficking existed in the US and what I found was perhaps even more shocking to me. I regarded the US to be one of the best places in the world (it still is) and believed it to be a country of freedom for humanity unlike any other countries. It almost shattered me when I learnt how prevalent Human Trafficking (HT) is in this country. Human Trafficking is really a global issue and it’s a monstrous issue facing humanity. I learned that there are nearly 25 million victims of human trafficking globally, it’s a 150 billion dollars industry, annually. 77% of victims worldwide are trafficked in their home country (U.S. Department of State). 42% of the victims were brought into trafficking by a member of their own families (Polaris Project). The more I learned about the stats around HT the more hopeless I felt about making any difference in this large issue. I am sure that’s how many people feel after they become aware of this issue. Perhaps, like me you have asked the question, “how can I possibly make a difference, I am just one person, and this issue is so overwhelmingly large?” But the answer is simple, take the first step and start helping one person at a time.

My personal first step was research and I started to get educated on the issue of trafficking. I got certified as a Human Trafficking awareness speaker. I started volunteering and supporting United Abolitionist, a local non-profit in Orlando, FL who help rescue victims and work to abolish trafficking. In 2009, I even traveled back to India with a few friends to make a documentary movie on Human Trafficking, you can watch the trailer here. I did all this, while I was pursuing my MBA as a full-time student and held a full-time job at a university as Alumni Director. Today, I am blessed to be on the front line of the fight against trafficking working in my full-time role as the Senior Director of Development at New Friends New Life (NFNL). For the past five years I have worked at NFNL, I have witnessed firsthand the hope of the new life we offer to women and girls who come through our doors every day leaving “the life” behind. NFNL emerged in 1997 when an exotic dancer walked into a local Dallas church seeking a way out of her lifestyle and hoping for a better life. The church’s women’s group helped her find conventional employment and provided the ongoing support she needed to make a fresh start. Soon she began bringing more of her friends, and the group organized to help them leave a life of sexual exploitation and trafficking. NFNL started because of the courageous step a women took to seek help and the willingness of the women’s group from a Dallas Church to help one victim of trafficking which led to the creation of an agency that has served hundreds of women and girls in 25 years including serving 312 women and girls last year alone.

I am so proud of the work we get to do at NFNL restoring and empowering trafficked women and girls and driving awareness of the issue. We provide monthly public bus tours free of cost to the community. Matt Osborne, our Men’s Advocacy Group Liaison, and I co-lead these bus tours. He discusses trafficking cases worked by law enforcement at different DFW locations, providing humanizing insights into the characteristics and pervasiveness of human trafficking and exploitation in north Texas. Human trafficking is a $99 million illegal industry in Dallas (Urban Institute) and Dallas has the second-highest number of trafficking cases in Texas (UT Austin).I often see the same shock on our guest’s face during the bus tour that I experienced when I was on the bus on the red-light district in India because once you see, you cannot unsee. It is often overwhelming to learn trafficking is taking place in our own backyard. At the end of the bus tour, I usually share stories of the survivors who are now living a restored and empowered life because of the programs we offer at NFNL and share the parable of the starfish on the beach. You are probably familiar with this parable.

At NFNL we are making a difference in the lives of one woman and girl at a time offering her the hope of a new life. In a recent graduation, one of the graduates of our Women’s Program shared,

“When I first came to New Friends New Life, I was traumatized by my past, emotionally drained, and felt broken spiritually. My desperation for help was all the hope I had left inside... Today, I can accept that I am a Brilliant Woman exploding with Grace, Hope, Purpose, and Strength. My hope for the future is to be an encouragement to others by mentoring young ladies.” – Nikki

My hope is that you, the reader will be moved to take your first step to make a difference in the life of one trafficking victim. If you can give, please give to support our programs. If you can pray, please pray for our courageous survivors to be transformed and for wisdom for our amazing staff for the hard work they do every day.  If you can serve, find a volunteer opportunity or join our auxiliary groups. Finally, if you can raise awareness, follow us on social media or invite us to speak to your community. LET’S BRING HOPE TO SURVIVORS, LET’S REMAIN HOPEFUL of a brighter future of a world without trafficking.   

Not One, But Many

Written By: Jessica Brazeal, MA, LPC-S, EMDR Certified , NFNL Chief Programs Officer

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and therefore no better time to discuss and consider this important issue and its prevalence. Statistics tell us that one in three women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. At New Friends New Life, we serve an incredible community of women that have survived sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation. As you can imagine, sexual assault is an issue that our staff spends a great deal of time working to provide support and treatment around. It is an experience that goes hand in hand with the experience of surviving sex trafficking and exploitation, like others such as domestic violence and child abuse.

Most of the women we serve have complex and chronic backgrounds of traumatic experiences, often including things like childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault as previously mentioned. Because of this complexity, it can be easy to lose sight of the pain associated with even just ONE instance of ONE of these categories of abuse. By its very definition, sex trafficking of an adult “requires the presence of force, fraud, or coercion” to be considered trafficking. This essentially means that every single instance of a women being forced to go on a job by her trafficker can be considered an instance of sexual assault, whose definition says that it is “any intentional sexual action by one person without the other person’s consent or coercing someone to engage in a sexual act against their will”. When we consider the sheer number of jobs or “calls” a woman is forced to go on per night, we begin to have an overwhelming tally of sexual assault occurring against her.   

It would be easy to get lost and disheartened with all of that trauma as we begin to consider that one night of being sex trafficked can be akin to being sexually assaulted upwards of 10-15 times in one night, and yet, when you look into the face of any one of the women we serve at New Friends New Life you are met with eyes filled with hope, determination and bravery. It is a place where the strength of women is palpable in the air. These women are not defined by their experience, but rather are daily seeking support and services to heal from their past and dream about their future.

One of the approaches we take at New Friends New Life to treat this accumulated trauma is through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, therapy. EMDR is an evidence-based treatment modality that has been recommended in treating trauma by organizations like the World Health Organization, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies amongst others. EMDR utilizes bilateral stimulation in the brain the replicates the natural bilateral stimulation that occurs during REM sleep. This allows a therapist and their client to identify a distressing or traumatic event and essentially work to desensitize and reprocess that event so that it is no longer disturbing to the client. EMDR allows the client to address ongoing triggers and decrease symptoms such as increased anxiety and depression. As you can imagine, when you have been sex trafficked and have potentially years of accumulated traumatic experiences, this therapy model is able to provide immense healing and relief to its recipient.

Despite this painful and heavy material our staff encounters with our members, we find ourselves celebrating the strength, resilience, and tenacity that the women we serve demonstrate daily and invite you to join us in that celebration. What a world it would be if there was no need for a Sexual Assault Awareness Month because there were no sexual assaults. And yet, that is not the world we live in. At least not yet. Until then, we will continue to honor those who have survived this incredibly traumatic experience and celebrate their bravery and resilience. We will continue to provide services and support that helps to resolve the residual effect those events have left in their wake. And we will continue to raise awareness around sex trafficking, sexual assault, and the ways in which we seek to make Dallas a safer place.

The Ultimate Gift of Service

Written By: Vanessa Garnica-Barker, NFNL Community Engagement Manager

A gift is defined as, “a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.” Typically, our minds gravitate toward the assumption that a gift is tangible or physical; however, the intangible gifts of time, service and presence have the potential to leave a lifelong impact. At New Friends New Life, these gifts carry a strong significance due to the traumatic past that trafficking survivors in our programs have endured. Because of the exploitation that members in this field experience, the dynamic of transactional relationships becomes their normal, and they build relationships with the mindset that they must give to receive.

      April is Volunteer Appreciation Month, and I am reflecting on the impact that our volunteers have made through the gift of presence. Our volunteers give without expecting anything in return and serve with deep humility. As one of our volunteers always says, “A thank you is never necessary. I do this from the heart.” To be honest, a thank you isn’t enough to express our gratitude for all that our volunteers do for this organization. New Friends New Life has been incredibly blessed to have some of the most kind-hearted, humble, and service- oriented individuals.

The beauty of volunteering is that each person has a gift that they are able to share with members each time they enter the building. Every volunteer, whether individual or group, that I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with, comes into NFNL with one goal in mind: serving with their whole heart. It’s beautiful to see such passion, but even more, love, especially when interacting with our members. They ensure our members feel dignity and respect by showing up constantly in their attentiveness and visibly pour acceptance and love into their work. They are always eager to better serve our organization, build relationships with our members, and overall fill opportunities that reflect their heart for service and change.

In a world where there is such darkness, our volunteers are able to shine a light through their service and smiles. It’s a great reminder that there are still people who want to give with no expectation of recognition or anything in return. These people are truly good and represent change in a world that thrives on love. While their service varies from assembling kits, organizing our space, writing letters, or building relationships with our members, each task is done with grace and sincere intent to better the lives of our members. Volunteers deserve the world and though they believe a “thank you” isn’t necessary, it actually is. Though it does not encompass our gratitude for the impact that you have, THANK YOU to all of our volunteers.

Thank you for pouring your hearts and souls into our mission and members! Thank you for loving our women and girls so well. Thank you for sharing your gifts and expecting nothing in return from someone who has only known transactional relationships. So many of you have told me that the best thank you is finding satisfaction in service and excitement in the most “insignificant” tasks. Each task has immeasurable value and goes a long way in the lives of NFNL members and staff. Thank you volunteers for making our world a better place and for bringing joy into our space. You are living proof that kindness and goodness exist and we hope that you know the impact you have on the lives of so many people and the change that your presence brings about. Your smiles and hearts light up our lives, and we are grateful beyond measure.

Training In A World of Trauma and Trafficking

Written By: Susan McKelvy, MS, LPC-S, NFNL National Conference Director

I’ve spent most of my career working in non-profit and educational settings, specifically focused on working with women, children, and families that have experienced trauma. What I’ve learned over this time is that trauma manifests many ways, but there are physiological changes that take place after trauma that can lead to sadness, agitation, dissociation, anxiety, behavioral changes, and even PTSD. Working with members at New Friends New Life has again shown me that the long-term effects of trauma are deep and long-lasting, often starting from a young age and continually compounding over time.

How Many People Does Trauma Actually Affect?

Statistics tells us that over 70% of adults in the U.S. will experience trauma. This can be from one-time events such as a car accident, or it can come from complex trauma that takes place over longer periods of time such as abusive relationships or being trafficked. Of this 70%, around 8% of women and 4% of men will develop PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). This is a more severe form of trauma that causes nightmares, flashbacks, and periods of re-experiencing the traumatic events. These statistics are for the general population. When looking at trauma in trafficking groups, 39% of adults and 27% of children were diagnosed with PTSD. That’s quite a jump!

How Can Licensed Professionals Help?

As licensed professionals, we are required to receive a set number of hours of training each year. This helps show that the license holder is always staying on top of cutting-edge information and providing the best care to their clients or patients. And while this sounds like an amazing way to ensure that everyone’s provider, therapist, attorney, etc. is always informed on best practice and dedicated to providing well-informed care, there are few required topics that must be covered for most licenses.

Some of the topics that are mandatory for many professions now are ethics, rules and regulations of the license held, and human trafficking. This leaves a lot of room for license holders to explore their interests related to their work, which is wonderful!  But, it also leaves room for people to find quick trainings that can be completed with minimal attention just to check a box.

One of the things that makes New Friends New Life’s approach to trauma unique and necessary is the training of its therapists and staff. Our therapists are trained in trauma-informed approaches including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), TF-CBT (Trauma Focused – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and others. Our staff (even those not in a direct member role) receive training on the effects of trauma and we prioritize using this information to shape all our interactions with our members.

 In fact, even our use of the word “member” in place of “client” to describe those we serve is a trauma-informed approach, because “client” can be a trigger word for women in the world of trafficking.

Where Do I Find Trauma Informed Training?

If you are someone who works with people in any format, trauma informed training is a must.

This may seem obvious when you know that you are working in a field with high trauma statistics such as trafficking, domestic violence, or child abuse. But with 70% of the U.S. population having experienced trauma, you probably interact with people who have experienced trauma more often than you might think.

Thankfully, you have many options. A simple internet search can help you find more information on ways to increase your knowledge on what trauma looks like, the long-term effects, and treatment options. More specifically, New Friends New Life offers a virtual conference each year on trafficking (a training topic required for many licenses now), that includes several topics on addressing trauma. We are also beginning a local, in-person training series that will cover trauma informed care. Stay tuned for dates and details on our website.

Whatever your field, whatever your license, the most important thing to remember is that the more knowledge the world has on trauma, the better off we will all be.

Trafficking Survivors Need a Safe Space, Not a Savior

Written By: Rana Amini, MS, LPC, EMDR-Trained, Clinical Program Director at NFNL

Photo by Molly Blackbird on Unsplash

A survivor of human trafficking. Who is she in your mind? Is she a woman or a girl who is imprisoned and chained up in a dark basement? Is she a damsel in distress waiting for a knight in shining armor? Is she someone who is powerless and waiting for someone to rescue her from despair?

No, that isn’t her.

She is a woman or a girl who has endured a lifetime of horrors, likely starting as a small child. She is a woman who in her earliest and most formative years of life likely learned she could not trust her caregivers. She experienced trauma. Lots of it. Trauma that looked like neglect, domestic violence in the home, substance use in the home, or caregivers with their own severe mental health struggles. She endured uncertainty, fear, instability, and minimal to no moments where she felt any periods of safety in her environment.

The people who were meant to keep her safe were the very people she had to try to keep herself safe from.

When Her World Is Not Safe

When most little girls were learning to explore their creativity, make friends with their classmates and learn about the latest trends, she was learning how to keep herself safe by taking up as little space as possible, learning how to attenuate to the needs of her abusers, and escaping her reality in whatever way she knew how.

We hope that little girls are told and shown how strong, brave, confident and smart they are. She was being told no such thing. She was being shown and told that she is not worthy, that she is not wanted, that she is not good enough and that she is not safe.

What does that do to a young child?

It immediately creates vulnerabilities that if not addressed or bolstered with protective factors will surely bleed into adulthood and gravely impact the way she views herself, others, and the world around her.

These early experiences paint a trajectory of despair and struggle.

So, when she is approached by her neighbor and experiences childhood sexual abuse… she expects it.

When she is physically assaulted by her abusive father... she thinks she deserves it.

And when she runs away from home in the search for a better existence because it is no longer tolerable to endure one more minute of the torment … she is desperate for a different way of living.

 So, within 48 hours of being a runaway, when she is approached by a trafficker who offers her a roof over her head, stability, and false promises of safety and love? She believes him.

No one wakes up one day and hopes for and choses a life of sexual exploitation but it happens. And it happens to the 320 women and girls we serve each year.

These women and girls have endured the most unimaginable horrors. And yet, they want nothing more than to come out on the other side. They want nothing more than to get another chance at having the life they have always wanted and the life they deserve. A life of stability, safety and support. But, even when they get the small window of opportunity to access the life they want, the path to stability and safety is paved with endless barriers.

With no safe support or place to live, where can they go? With no money, no education and no employment history, where can they turn?

It is daunting. And yet, they don’t need a savior. They don’t need someone to swoop in and rescue them.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Survivors Need Access, Choice, and Resources

Survivors are remarkable, hardworking and compassionate. Despite the darkness they have endured, they are full of light. They are women of grace, dedication, fervent tenacity and invincible resilience. They have faced the world’s greatest horrors and yet their hearts are still soft. They have every reason to want to give up and never trust another human being, again and yet they fight tirelessly to create a new life and move forward.

What do they need? They need access, choice, and resources.

When we play the role of savior or rescuer, we send a very harmful message to these women that they aren’t enough. We inadvertently disempower them, even when we are well intentioned. And in doing so, we re-create the devastating cycle that they have experienced since childhood.

They need us to understand that they are not fragile, they are not weak, and they are not without choice. They don’t need us as caregivers, allies, or advocates to recreate the abusive dynamic where they are void of choice.

They need an assortment of choices. They need access to safe and supportive environments with individuals that understand that they have done the very best with the very limited choices they have. They need access to fair and affordable housing in safe neighborhoods where they aren’t vulnerable of being re-victimized or re-exploited. They need access to a multitude of employment opportunities that pay them fairly and allow them to make choices based on what kind of work they want to do, instead of having to settle for a few limited options that pay them minimum wage and take advantage of them once again. They need access to trauma informed counseling where they can begin to heal from their nightmares, their flashbacks and their complex PTSD.

Survivors do not need us to save them. They have been able to do it on their own all along. They just need the chance and options to do so.

The Toppling Tower: Black Women’s Vulnerabilities to Becoming Trafficking Victims

Written By: Bianca Davis, NFNL CEO.

If you’ve ever played Jenga®, you’ve likely had a moment where you’ve leant in and closed one eye to focus on your next move or held your breath as you’ve steadied your fingers. Though the rules are simple, the game is not easy to win. It can be downright nerve-wracking trying to move a single block from beneath the weight and support of all the others to place it atop the shaky, swaying tower. Inevitably, without being able to touch the other blocks, the tower collapses. Game over. You’ve lost.

The tower topples because it becomes impossible to move one block without affecting all the others.

The Weight of Intersecting Points

Researchers are brilliant at identifying points of intersection to help explain why certain populations are more vulnerable than others to becoming victims of various social ills. When it comes to the issue of sex trafficking, Black women and girls are disproportionally affected, making up  40% of all trafficking victims in the U.S. Some of these points of intersection include living in poverty, having a history of childhood sexual abuse, experiencing domestic violence, and spending time in foster care, all of which Black women and girls experience at alarmingly high rates:

• Black women represent 22.3 percent of women in poverty in the U.S., while only making up 12.8 percent of the population

• Black women are three times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than White women

• Black children are overrepresented in the foster care system

This national data mirrors what we see at New Friends New Life where 53 percent of our women and 38 percent of our teen girls are Black. In addition:

• 85 percent of our members live below the poverty line,

• 81 percent have experienced non-fatal strangulation by a pimp or john, and

• 47 percent of our teen girls have a history of interaction with CPS or the foster care system.

I once heard someone say that by the time a girl or woman is actually sold for sex, being trafficked isn’t the first bad thing that has happened to her.

What these numbers prove is that each intersecting point represents a block that sits atop another, creating a shaky, swaying tower that increases Black women and girls’ vulnerability to being victimized. Traffickers will often show up as a solution to a problem, posing as someone who can prevent the toppling, while actually being the cause of the inevitable collapse.

Building Stable Towers

The theme for Black History Month February 2022 is Black Health & Wellness. Sometimes, when we think of health and wellness, we focus on ways to improve our physical health like through exercise and diet, or maybe emotional wellness activities like therapy and self-expression to address our mental health. Sex trafficking is a looming health crisis of a different kind that is also particularly devastating and threatening to the Black community, and it sits at the intersection of other societal ills like poverty, domestic violence and childhood sexual abuse – issues that we must also address if we are going to make a move against sex trafficking.

The word Jenga is derived from the Swahili term meaning “to build.” The person who loses the game is the one who moves a block without successfully understanding the interconnectedness and impact of the surrounding blocks. Focusing on one block without taking into consideration all the neighboring factors topples the tower.

The tower topples because it becomes impossible to move one block without affecting the others.

When a group is overrepresented in ways that harm and destroy their ability to thrive, when we see this group standing beneath a shaky, swaying tower of intersecting points, or worse yet - crouching beneath the rubble of an already toppled tower, we must examine all the blocks that contribute to the collapse.  Then collectively, collaboratively, and in concert, we can build new towers – sectors, agencies, and societies - that are stable, safe, and strong.