Carrying the Weight Twice: Managing Stress as You Serve

Written by Annette Bailey, Program Resource Coordinator & Survivor Leader

Handling stress at work has its challenges in any work environment, but it is especially difficult when your work is not just a job, but your purpose, and is deeply personal to your own life. What we don’t talk about enough is how vicarious trauma shows up for all of us in this work. This is especially true as survivor leaders, given that our own histories are linked with the very experiences our clients are facing in their own lives. We all know of the ways in which we could or “should” deal with our stresses: walking, taking breaks, deep breathing, communicating with our managers, setting boundaries between our work and our personal life, and seeking support as needed. 

Working at an anti-trafficking organization means holding story after story of pain, grief, suffering, and so much resilience. It also means holding joy, watching eyes light up with pride, and so much laughter. For those of us who are survivor leaders doing this work, this work is sacred and deeply personal. It means that while we are doing this work of supporting women, we are also aware of how their stories and experiences echo our own. That means we have to work tirelessly to make sure the stress doesn't sweep us under, so we can remain the guide and support these women deserve.

When this work hits close, because it will.

Yes, all this sounds profound, but when work affects you personally, speaking from my own experience, you might not have time to figure out all these different techniques and boundaries. Especially when the stress and harsh realities your clients face do not take breaks, and the work continues day after day. It is difficult to care so deeply about these clients and find a way for it not to bleed into your own stress load.  When you yourself have lived through the very abuse and control these clients are enduring, this work can feel both healing and harmful at times. This aspect makes it vital to find a way to make sense of the different emotions we face daily. It becomes even more important that we draw encouragement from our loved ones, peers, and community to take care of ourselves. We must approach this thoughtfully and with intention, because ultimately, if we don’t, the clients we care deeply for will face even greater risks.

The idea of “strong”

There is a harmful idea that survivor leaders should be endlessly strong and that our own lived experiences make us immune to this burnout and vicarious trauma. The truth, though, is that it’s the opposite, and it makes us more vulnerable. The reality is that we are human. We, like anyone else, have our own triggers and tender spots, and unlike most people, we are reminded of them each and every day in this line of work. Sitting with other survivors requires me to wear so many hats and in so many different moments. There are times when, as a survivor leader, I need to be a protector, times when I am the advocate, times when I am the supportive voice, and times when I set the rules to help her succeed. But all these experiences require me to be steadfast in the very experiences and memories I have already made peace with, like a passenger who will always be with me. 

Stress was beginning to take me to a place of no return. Stress was starting to affect my physical and mental well-being. But I had to take a step back. First, I assessed my stress levels and took some time to reflect on how I could better care for my physical and mental well-being. After completing these tasks, I took the time to follow simple tips and tricks on stress management and really focus on myself to relieve my tension. I had to remind myself that my clients deserve the best of me, and I can’t give them that if I succumb to stress. I had to practice what I preached and do the very things we encourage clients to do. Take breaks, take one step at a time, focus on one goal at a time, and lean into my community and support. Today I’m in a different place in life, staying faithful in consoling myself, reminding myself of what I bring to the table, praying to a higher power greater than myself, and inviting others in to help me along the way.  

A final note

If you are a survivor leader in the workplace, I want to thank you. Your compassion, courage, and voice are essential. However, please remember that your worth is not tied to what you can and do for others, and your healing is just as important and valuable as the people you are supporting. This work is heavy because these women matter. But in order to do this work, we must look inwards and make sure it doesn’t come at our own cost. You deserve the same grace, gentleness, safety, and autonomy you fight so fiercely to create for these women.

Unmasking human trafficking: A collective fight to end sex trafficking & exploitation

This excerpt was written by Heather C. Panton Senior Advisor, Social Impact and Human Rights, Thomson Reuters

Combating sex trafficking and exploitation requires a collective, multi-faceted approach, which includes leveraging technology, survivor-centered support, law enforcement collaboration, public awareness, and demand reduction in order to protect vulnerable populations and end exploitation

Key highlights:

• Human trafficking is a local problem — Contrary to the stranger danger myth, trafficking primarily involves emotional manipulation and targets vulnerable populations locally.

  1. Prevention requires talking to men and boys — Discussions should be held about how online pornography, and the impact of their visits to strip clubs is furthering the sexual exploitation of women and indirectly fueling sex trafficking.

  2. Human trafficking is a criminal enterprise — This enterprise is operating in the shadow economy, with profits that fuel the world’s second-largest illicit financial enterprise.

An estimated 50 million people are currently living in modern slavery globally, a stark reality often hidden in plain sight. Indeed, World Day Against Trafficking in Persons, established by the United Nations in 2013, serves as a crucial reminder that human trafficking remains one of the most pressing human rights challenges of our time.

A recent Thomson Reuters Institute webinar in observance of this day brought together experts from technology, survivor services, and law enforcement for a discussion to deepen the collective understanding of trafficking’s complexities, examine its devastating impacts on victims, and develop strategies to drive meaningful change.

Debunking myths around human trafficking

Human trafficking is often misunderstood, with common misconceptions including the stranger danger myth that most trafficking situations come from anonymous kidnappers. However, Kristin Boorse, CEO of Spotlight, a nonprofit group helping law enforcement on the front lines of domestic minor sex trafficking, notes that trafficking often involves emotional manipulation by traffickers who target individuals from vulnerable populations, including youth without housing and children in foster care and juvenile justice systems.

Bianca Davis, CEO of New Friends New Life, which provides comprehensive care to human trafficking victims, explains that between 95% and 97% of the survivors with whom she works are local. And, according to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), fraud and coercion are more prevalent than brute force in trafficking cases. In fact, traffickers frequently use master manipulator tactics and trauma bonds to exploit existing vulnerabilities.

Evolving approaches to combating trafficking

The fight against human trafficking requires a multi-faceted approach that involves cooperation of technology companies, survivor support organizations, and law enforcement agencies. More specifically, this approach can include:

Use and scale of technology — Boorse states that “technology has changed everything” in the anti-trafficking space and has made it easier for offenders to exploit victims. At the same time, technology is also providing opportunities for identifying survivors and offering support. Spotlight has developed innovative tools that help law enforcement and service providers identify trafficking situations and connect survivors with vital resources.

“Trying to identify a child victim in this mound of data is like trying to identify a needle in a haystack, but we aren’t looking for needles, we’re looking for children,” Boorse explains, adding that Spotlight leverages data and AI to help with the identification of some of the most vulnerable children. “We aim to reduce the time it takes to identify a victim from months to minutes. The speed of identification has a direct relationship to recovery and reduces the amount of time a victim remains in trauma.” With the help of technology, Spotlight has helped investigators identify more than 26,000 children.

Holistic approaches to support survivors — Comprehensive survivor support and compassionate care are key parts of the equation when stopping human trafficking. A model to mirror is the one used by New Friends New Life, which provides a range of services, including housing partnerships, emotional trauma support, and economic empowerment through job training and education. Davis emphasizes that rebuilding trust is crucial, and “the whole bunch of love approach” is essential in supporting survivors.

Collaboration with law enforcement and survivor care providers — The protracted nature of prosecuting human trafficking cases makes cooperation between law enforcement and those nonprofits which support survivors critical. Indeed, there often is a 24- to 36-month time span before the trial starts or the trafficker is convicted through a plea deal. This is a long time to keep a victim engaged, and this lengthy timeline can strain that engagement, especially given the trauma and instability survivors often face.

Because of this challenge, law enforcement relies heavily on robust partnerships with service organizations. The hyper-focus on the welfare and the well-being of the victim is key so that law enforcement can then focus on working with the prosecutors on the case.

In addition, collaboration on expanding awareness of traffickers’ recruitment methods in digital spaces is essential. And another key challenge lies in public awareness around the shifting landscape of trafficking online. More awareness and education in our schools and within our own homes are needed, primarily about how offenders use social media and other online platforms to identify and get their foothold on potential victims. Sadly, most minor victims — disproportionately over 95% — are recruited on Instagram, according to DHS.

Addressing root causes is key to prevention

Of course, the best way to prevent sex trafficking is to stop it before it starts, and effective prevention demands a multi-faceted approach starting with early intervention and addressing both vulnerabilities and demand. For example:

Give vulnerable minors love and acceptance — Boorse emphasized the importance of “looking back at the family unit,” noting that “one of the most critical pieces is… this feeling of being loved and accepted, obviously with appropriate boundaries.” She argued that fortifying family and community relationships from early childhood onward can help build emotional resilience and provide children with the strong foundation they need to resist exploitation.

Addressing demand is equally vital — Human trafficking is the second largest and fastest growing criminal enterprise in the world, which means it is a business. “If we are ever going to end this issue, we have to address the demand — and that means talking to our men,” Davis states. More specifically, there is a strong need to educate men and boys about the impact of seemingly “normalized” behaviors, such as consuming sexually exploitative online pornography or visiting strip clubs because “these normalized behaviors fuel a criminal industry,” she adds.

Everyone has a role to play

Combating human trafficking is a collective responsibility that requires education and action from many sectors of society. Everyone has the opportunity to educate themselves and support organizations like Spotlight, New Friends New Life, and the DHS Blue Campaign. In addition, reporting suspicious activity to the DHS tip line (1-866-DHS-2-ICE (1-866-347-2423) or the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888, as well as advocating for meaningful policy changes in local communities are other ways to help.

Only through shared commitment and action, can we build a world in which exploitation no longer has a foothold and all people can be free from the devastating exploitation of human trafficking.

Honoring My Roots, Serving with Purpose

Written by Myrna Olaya, Clinical Program Manager

image from Schools.nyc.gov

My identity shows up in everything I do—from my name to my values, from the way I show up in the world to the way I show up for others. It’s in the language I speak, the meals I cook, the music that moves me, and most of all, in the deep pride I feel for the culture that raised me.

Recently, while walking through a local Mexican grocery store gathering ingredients to make elote for a weekend carne asada, I felt it—that feeling. A familiar warmth, a deep-rooted pride. I watched families laughing, heard rancheras playing softly overhead, smelled fresh tortillas on the comal, and was reminded of how rich and beautiful our culture is. It’s moments like that which remind me: my heritage isn’t something I dust off once a year to celebrate during Hispanic Heritage Month—it lives with me, always.

Hispanic Heritage Month, observed from September 15 to October 15, is a time to celebrate the cultures, histories, and contributions of people from more than twenty Spanish-speaking countries. From the independence of Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Mexico, Chile, and Belize to the everyday stories of resilience and joy that we carry, this month is both a tribute and a call to action—to honor our past while continuing to build our future.

And for me, that future shows up every day in my work as a mental health clinician at NFNL.

I bring my full self into the work I do with women and girls—many of whom share pieces of my story. My culture grounds me, and it gives me the compassion, strength, and perspective to walk alongside them in their healing journeys. We often speak a shared language—not just Spanish, but a cultural language of understanding, of navigating generational trauma, of finding power in community. Being able to offer culturally competent care is not just a skill—it’s a responsibility and a privilege I carry with pride.

As a Latina in the mental health field, I am also deeply proud to be part of a growing network of Hispanic mental health professionals—trailblazers and advocates who are making space for our communities to be seen, heard, and cared for. Representation matters. It empowers the next generation to seek help without shame and to know that healing is possible—because they see someone who looks like them, who understands.

So this Hispanic Heritage Month, I don’t just celebrate where I come from—I celebrate how far we’ve come. I celebrate the joy, the strength, the flavor, the rhythm, and the soul of our people.

I invite you to celebrate with me: eat our food, dance to our music, learn our stories. Because we are here, thriving, dreaming, and building legacies—every single day.

¡Viva los Hispanos! ¡Viva la Cultura!

A Place of Healing and Hope: Lessons From My Three-Year-Old and the Youth Resource Center

Written by Katrina Tamez, Grants Manager

As a young mother and grant manager at New Friends New Life, my work and my personal life often feel deeply connected. Recently, my three-year-old daughter reminded me just how powerful that connection can be.

One day, she noticed that I was feeling overwhelmed, from juggling work, motherhood, and the many emotions that come with both. She looked at me with her big, compassionate eyes and said, "Mommy, take a deep breath." In that moment, I was reminded how even the smallest voices can hold such profound wisdom.

She learned that simple but powerful coping skill from the little mindfulness moments we practice together at home. It struck me that the same skills she is beginning to learn are exactly what the young people at our Youth Resource Center (YRC) are working to build every day.

The YRC isn’t just a place to access food, clothes, or academic help; it’s a place where girls learn to heal. Through trauma-informed therapy, they develop the same essential coping tools: how to breathe through difficult feelings, recognize their emotions, and respond to challenges in healthier ways. For many, these skills are life-changing, empowering them to reclaim a sense of control and begin to envision a future beyond the pain they’ve experienced.

Working at New Friends New Life has shown me the incredible power of wraparound support. Our staff and volunteers wrap each young person in a circle of care, empowering them to build resilience and rediscover their worth. We measure success in milestones big and small: a high school diploma earned, a poem written in therapy, a smile that wasn’t there before. Each one is proof that when a community comes together to uplift its most vulnerable members, transformation is possible, and every step forward is a victory worth celebrating.

I am proud to lend my voice and my pen to support this work. The YRC is more than a place; it is a testament to what love, resources, and dedicated advocacy can achieve. As a mother, I hold close the reminder that every child deserves a chance to thrive. As a grant manager, I am honored to help make that possible every single day. I encourage you to explore the different ways that you can offer your talents, experiences, and resources to advance this mission of restoring and empowering survivors. Together, we can continue to create a world where every young person has the opportunity to heal, grow, and thrive… one deep breath at a time.

10 Things Your Therapist Wishes You Knew: Inside a Therapist’s Mind During Mental Health Awareness Month

Written by Kate Gilliland, Mental Health Clinician

Gosnold.org/blog/mental-health-awareness-month/

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to reflect on the importance of mental health and reduce the stigma surrounding it. As a therapist, I have the privilege of witnessing countless courageous individuals walk through my door and begin their healing journey. Yet, there are often things that go unspoken – things I wish my clients knew about the therapy process and how I truly feel about the work we do together. In this blog, I will share a few insights from the therapist’s perspective. From the nerves of the first session to the importance of being honest and vulnerable, here are ten things your therapist wishes you knew – because your healing matters to us as much as it does to you.

1.       It’s okay (and normal) to be nervous, especially for the first session. It can be scary to meet anyone new for the first time! We understand that beginning therapy may be overwhelming, and we are here to help in any way we can.

2.       We are SO proud of you. From the moment you walk through the door for a session, you have already begun the hard work that is therapy. Keep going – we love to see you succeed!

3.       Say the thing that is on your mind. Even if you are afraid that it is weird or that you will “sound crazy”, just say it! It is our job to hold non-judgmental space for you, and we respect the courage it takes to be honest.

4.       Tell the joke… yes, we think you are funny! 😊

5.       Be brave – bring up the things that bother you (even if it has to do with your therapist or therapy appointments). We understand that, at times, we may need to readjust or tweak things about our relationship or sessions. We appreciate the honesty our clients bring into the room!

6.       Share the picture with us in session. It is true, we love to see what your cat, dog, significant other, mom, or best friend looks like! If you want to, go ahead and show us the cool projects you have been working on and the people who make you proud.

7.       It is healing to cry. You feel the waterworks coming, you try to hold them back, but it is no use. Crying is not pointless; it is not embarrassing; it is a step in your healing journey, and we are fortunate to share that moment with you.

8.       You can share the big, scary things – we will hold the space for you. You do not have to worry about protecting your therapist from the dark moments of your life. We can handle anything you have for us.

9.       We love seeing you, too! We smile when we see your name on our schedule and look forward to our appointments with you!

10.  We are human. We may have an off day; we may say the wrong thing. We are human too, and while we make mistakes, we will do our best to communicate with you and make it right!

Mental health and its treatment are so important. You may find these statistics surprising, but this is the reality, nonetheless:

1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year.

1 in 6 U.S. youth have a mental health condition.

50% of all lifetimes mental illnesses begin by age 14, and 75% by age 24.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth ages 10-14

In 2023, 20% of all high school students seriously considered suicide

In my field, I am surrounded by incredible people who are brave enough to share their stories and ask for help. Notice the words “brave” and “share” are connected here. Sharing our struggles comes with risk, especially if we feel we are the only ones experiencing difficulties. That is why it is so important to normalize conversations surrounding mental health. Yes, these topics may be daunting to approach; you may feel you do not have the right words to say. That is okay. The first step in normalizing these conversations is the willingness to listen.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, do not be afraid to ask for help. Search for local therapists in your area and schedule an appointment or call to ask any questions you may have. In case of emergencies, be sure to contact the suicide hotline at 988 or dial 911.

https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/reports/rpt39443/2021NSDUHFFRRev010323.pdf

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2724377?guestAccessKey=f689aa19-31f1-481d-878a-6bf83844536a

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15939837/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide

https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/index.html

More Than "Mom": Celebrating the Woman Behind the Title This Mother's Day

Written by Samantha Carmean, Development Administrative Manager

We often call her “Mom” like it’s her only name, like her identity began the moment we were born. But before she held us in her arms, she was already someone — a woman with dreams, fears, quirks, strengths, and a story all her own.

This Mother’s Day, I want to honor my mom and all moms not just for who they are as mothers, but for being the women they are, and the little girls they were – strong, complex, and full of life and color.

She Was Someone Before She Was “Mom”

As a young girl, my mom LOVED her Legos, especially her favorite set: Santa on his sled with his reindeer pulling him. She liked her Dynamite Doll that came with a motorcycle, and she has ALWAYS, (to this day), loved superheroes - especially Wonder Woman. She would sew clothes for her Barbie dolls or make them out of tin foil (something she had taught me how to do). She used to play basketball with her next door neighbor and make dirt racecourses in their front yard for their matchbox cars (clearly a bit of a tomboy). Every once in a while, she loved to climb the Mulberry Tree at the 15th hole of Mt. Pleasant Golf Course. There was a hole in the metal fence to get through, and the tree was right next to it. She remembers the mulberries being delicious!

I’ve seen glimpses of who she was before me in old photos and family stories – the one of her in her high school yearbook when she won the Departmental Art Award for Best Artist. These pieces matter, because they remind me that my mother isn’t just mine — she is her own person, too.

Her Womanhood Shaped Her Motherhood

So much of who she is as a woman has shaped how she loves. Her motivation for justice taught my siblings and I to always speak up when we saw unfair treatment. Her creativity and entrepreneurial spirit have taught us to seek adventure and find wisdom in life’s experiences. Her keenness for balance in life has taught us how to live in the tension of our dreams and limitations. And, her compassion has taught us to be genuinely curious about the people around us.

Believe me when I say, she brought her full self into parenting. Not just her care, but her creativity, her style, her humor. I still remember the one summer vacation my dad had a medical emergency and had to stay back. My mom drove me and my three siblings for six hours in our minivan to our annual Schlitterbahn Waterpark trip in New Braunfels. She was determined to be the “fun parent” and did everything she could to ensure all the kids still had a great time. All I remember is how awesome the wave pool was, but my mom says that trip was a nightmare!

She Still Has Dreams, Too

Even now, she’s still growing. Still becoming.

She rides a 300cc scooter with her scooter club and paints murals on walls. She solves the newspaper crossword puzzle every week and passionately keeps herself aware of social issues. She does bible study with her girls and is always contemplating life’s deep questions - until she remembers that some things just don’t have answers. She and my dad are finding new adventures all the time – going to concerts, hanging out with their friends, and traveling to Germany for Oktoberfest. It inspires me. It reminds me that we never stop becoming ourselves, no matter our age or our roles.

This Mother’s Day, I See HER Fully.

As I honor my own mom, I can’t help but also think of the mothers that come through our doors at New Friends New Life — women who have faced unimaginable hardship and still show up every day for their children and for themselves. They attend GED classes, therapy sessions, economic empowerment courses, and case management care. They, too, are more than “mom.” Before they were mothers, they were little girls with hopes and imagination, shaped by both joy and pain. And today, they are brave women who have chosen to begin again.

They carry not only the weight of their past but the strength of their healing. Their stories may include trauma, exploitation, or trafficking, but those are only parts of their journey — not the whole of who they are. They are artists, leaders, dreamers, and nurturers. They are building new lives while raising children with courage and hope. They are redefining motherhood on their own terms.

This Mother’s Day, at NFNL ,we see HER - fully. We honor HER resilience, HER softness, HER power. We celebrate her decision to seek the life she deserves, not only for herself but for the generations after her. Her love is fierce, and her transformation is profound.

To Every Woman Who Is a Mom — And Every Mom Who Is Still a Woman

Thank you for being all of who you are. Not just the nurturer, but the fighter. Not just the caregiver, but the dreamer. This Mother’s Day, we honor your full story — your becoming, your bravery, and your boundless love.

To my mom, You are my Wonder Woman. I love you.

-        Samantha