10 Things Your Therapist Wishes You Knew: Inside a Therapist’s Mind During Mental Health Awareness Month

Written by Kate Gilliland, Mental Health Clinician

Gosnold.org/blog/mental-health-awareness-month/

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to reflect on the importance of mental health and reduce the stigma surrounding it. As a therapist, I have the privilege of witnessing countless courageous individuals walk through my door and begin their healing journey. Yet, there are often things that go unspoken – things I wish my clients knew about the therapy process and how I truly feel about the work we do together. In this blog, I will share a few insights from the therapist’s perspective. From the nerves of the first session to the importance of being honest and vulnerable, here are ten things your therapist wishes you knew – because your healing matters to us as much as it does to you.

1.       It’s okay (and normal) to be nervous, especially for the first session. It can be scary to meet anyone new for the first time! We understand that beginning therapy may be overwhelming, and we are here to help in any way we can.

2.       We are SO proud of you. From the moment you walk through the door for a session, you have already begun the hard work that is therapy. Keep going – we love to see you succeed!

3.       Say the thing that is on your mind. Even if you are afraid that it is weird or that you will “sound crazy”, just say it! It is our job to hold non-judgmental space for you, and we respect the courage it takes to be honest.

4.       Tell the joke… yes, we think you are funny! 😊

5.       Be brave – bring up the things that bother you (even if it has to do with your therapist or therapy appointments). We understand that, at times, we may need to readjust or tweak things about our relationship or sessions. We appreciate the honesty our clients bring into the room!

6.       Share the picture with us in session. It is true, we love to see what your cat, dog, significant other, mom, or best friend looks like! If you want to, go ahead and show us the cool projects you have been working on and the people who make you proud.

7.       It is healing to cry. You feel the waterworks coming, you try to hold them back, but it is no use. Crying is not pointless; it is not embarrassing; it is a step in your healing journey, and we are fortunate to share that moment with you.

8.       You can share the big, scary things – we will hold the space for you. You do not have to worry about protecting your therapist from the dark moments of your life. We can handle anything you have for us.

9.       We love seeing you, too! We smile when we see your name on our schedule and look forward to our appointments with you!

10.  We are human. We may have an off day; we may say the wrong thing. We are human too, and while we make mistakes, we will do our best to communicate with you and make it right!

Mental health and its treatment are so important. You may find these statistics surprising, but this is the reality, nonetheless:

1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year.

1 in 6 U.S. youth have a mental health condition.

50% of all lifetimes mental illnesses begin by age 14, and 75% by age 24.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth ages 10-14

In 2023, 20% of all high school students seriously considered suicide

In my field, I am surrounded by incredible people who are brave enough to share their stories and ask for help. Notice the words “brave” and “share” are connected here. Sharing our struggles comes with risk, especially if we feel we are the only ones experiencing difficulties. That is why it is so important to normalize conversations surrounding mental health. Yes, these topics may be daunting to approach; you may feel you do not have the right words to say. That is okay. The first step in normalizing these conversations is the willingness to listen.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, do not be afraid to ask for help. Search for local therapists in your area and schedule an appointment or call to ask any questions you may have. In case of emergencies, be sure to contact the suicide hotline at 988 or dial 911.

https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/reports/rpt39443/2021NSDUHFFRRev010323.pdf

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2724377?guestAccessKey=f689aa19-31f1-481d-878a-6bf83844536a

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15939837/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide

https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/index.html

More Than "Mom": Celebrating the Woman Behind the Title This Mother's Day

Written by Samantha Carmean, Development Administrative Manager

We often call her “Mom” like it’s her only name, like her identity began the moment we were born. But before she held us in her arms, she was already someone — a woman with dreams, fears, quirks, strengths, and a story all her own.

This Mother’s Day, I want to honor my mom and all moms not just for who they are as mothers, but for being the women they are, and the little girls they were – strong, complex, and full of life and color.

She Was Someone Before She Was “Mom”

As a young girl, my mom LOVED her Legos, especially her favorite set: Santa on his sled with his reindeer pulling him. She liked her Dynamite Doll that came with a motorcycle, and she has ALWAYS, (to this day), loved superheroes - especially Wonder Woman. She would sew clothes for her Barbie dolls or make them out of tin foil (something she had taught me how to do). She used to play basketball with her next door neighbor and make dirt racecourses in their front yard for their matchbox cars (clearly a bit of a tomboy). Every once in a while, she loved to climb the Mulberry Tree at the 15th hole of Mt. Pleasant Golf Course. There was a hole in the metal fence to get through, and the tree was right next to it. She remembers the mulberries being delicious!

I’ve seen glimpses of who she was before me in old photos and family stories – the one of her in her high school yearbook when she won the Departmental Art Award for Best Artist. These pieces matter, because they remind me that my mother isn’t just mine — she is her own person, too.

Her Womanhood Shaped Her Motherhood

So much of who she is as a woman has shaped how she loves. Her motivation for justice taught my siblings and I to always speak up when we saw unfair treatment. Her creativity and entrepreneurial spirit have taught us to seek adventure and find wisdom in life’s experiences. Her keenness for balance in life has taught us how to live in the tension of our dreams and limitations. And, her compassion has taught us to be genuinely curious about the people around us.

Believe me when I say, she brought her full self into parenting. Not just her care, but her creativity, her style, her humor. I still remember the one summer vacation my dad had a medical emergency and had to stay back. My mom drove me and my three siblings for six hours in our minivan to our annual Schlitterbahn Waterpark trip in New Braunfels. She was determined to be the “fun parent” and did everything she could to ensure all the kids still had a great time. All I remember is how awesome the wave pool was, but my mom says that trip was a nightmare!

She Still Has Dreams, Too

Even now, she’s still growing. Still becoming.

She rides a 300cc scooter with her scooter club and paints murals on walls. She solves the newspaper crossword puzzle every week and passionately keeps herself aware of social issues. She does bible study with her girls and is always contemplating life’s deep questions - until she remembers that some things just don’t have answers. She and my dad are finding new adventures all the time – going to concerts, hanging out with their friends, and traveling to Germany for Oktoberfest. It inspires me. It reminds me that we never stop becoming ourselves, no matter our age or our roles.

This Mother’s Day, I See HER Fully.

As I honor my own mom, I can’t help but also think of the mothers that come through our doors at New Friends New Life — women who have faced unimaginable hardship and still show up every day for their children and for themselves. They attend GED classes, therapy sessions, economic empowerment courses, and case management care. They, too, are more than “mom.” Before they were mothers, they were little girls with hopes and imagination, shaped by both joy and pain. And today, they are brave women who have chosen to begin again.

They carry not only the weight of their past but the strength of their healing. Their stories may include trauma, exploitation, or trafficking, but those are only parts of their journey — not the whole of who they are. They are artists, leaders, dreamers, and nurturers. They are building new lives while raising children with courage and hope. They are redefining motherhood on their own terms.

This Mother’s Day, at NFNL ,we see HER - fully. We honor HER resilience, HER softness, HER power. We celebrate her decision to seek the life she deserves, not only for herself but for the generations after her. Her love is fierce, and her transformation is profound.

To Every Woman Who Is a Mom — And Every Mom Who Is Still a Woman

Thank you for being all of who you are. Not just the nurturer, but the fighter. Not just the caregiver, but the dreamer. This Mother’s Day, we honor your full story — your becoming, your bravery, and your boundless love.

To my mom, You are my Wonder Woman. I love you.

-        Samantha

The Good in The World

Written by Vanessa Barker, Community Engagement Director

2025 Volunteer Appreciation Award Ceremony

In a fast-paced world where it’s easy to get distracted by everything going on, I’m often reminded of something simple but powerful: there’s still so much good out there. Some of the best examples of this good are the New Friends New Life volunteers.

These remarkable individuals are the lifeblood of a mission dedicated to healing, empowerment, and the rekindling of hope. With hearts wide open and hands ready to serve, they humbly step forward to create ripples of change that profoundly touch lives. Their unwavering commitment and compassion shine through, transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary acts of kindness that inspire and uplift those around them.

They offer childcare so moms can focus on healing and growth. They tutor students who are working hard toward brighter futures. They serve warm dinners that bring comfort and community. Behind the scenes, they’re sorting donations, gardening, and creating safe, welcoming spaces that reflect dignity and care.

Volunteers at Thanksgiving Dinner, Circle of Friends Board Members hosting Trunk or treat, SMU Students In the Garden, Volunteers Hosting Wednesday Night Dinner

And maybe most beautifully, they are celebrating our members—whether it’s a birthday, a new job, a graduation, a baby shower or simply a courageous step forward. Volunteers take the time to notice, to honor, and to cheer on the journey.

One volunteer shared…

“I have several favorite volunteer opportunities, so take your pick. They are Fashion Friday, childcare, tabling events, and tutoring our members in computer skills.”

He went on to say…

“My favorite volunteer memory has been when our members feel comfortable enough to share their successes and challenges with me.”

It’s that kind of connection—authentic, supportive, and empowering—that defines the spirit of service at New Friends New Life.

“What I love most about serving is being able to help empower our members to become strong, confident, and independent women,” he said. “What drives me as a volunteer is that as a man, I’m able to be part of the solution to sex trafficking, rather than being the problem.”

There’s something incredibly uplifting about seeing people choose to help—not because they have to, but because they want to. That kind of generosity reminds me that kindness is a powerful force, and it’s all around us if we just take a moment to look.

Volunteers at Liberty Street Garden, Volunteers hosting dinner for March Phase Up Ceremony, Volunteers passing out thanksgiving dinners to members, Volunteers HOSTING a yRC baby shower

At New Friends New Life, volunteers don’t just lend their time, they help create transformation. They bring warmth, joy, and a sense of connection that can turn a regular day into a memorable one. So, when I think about what truly gives me hope, it’s not always the big, grand moments, it’s the everyday acts of compassion. It’s people choosing to show up for each other. It’s the love and light that volunteers bring, one act of service at a time.

They remind me of the good in the world, and I see it in each of our volunteers.

P.S. — Toyota and Baker Botts Bring Legal Aid — and Laughter — to Exploited Victims

This excerpt was written by Krista Torralva for The Texas Lawbook.

Photo sourced from The Texas LAw book

For several weeks that a woman found refuge at Dallas’ New Friends New Life for formerly trafficked and sexually exploited victims, the staff hadn’t seen a small measure of her joy: laughter.  

Finally, at a pro bono legal intake clinic with attorneys from Toyota North America and Baker Botts, staffers caught a glimmer of hope as they heard the woman laugh after receiving legal aid.

It was a moment that resonated with the staff and the volunteer lawyers, said Scott Young, managing counsel of Toyota North America in Plano. 

“That is more than just turning a page,” Young said. “That’s like freeing her from her limitations.” 

Toyota and Baker Botts joined forces to put on the legal clinic in January during the charity’s Fashion Friday event featuring a donation closet. The New Friends New Life organization works to restore and empower teenage girls, women and their children by providing access to education, job training and mental health support. 

The lawyers assisted women with an array of legal issues, including housing, child custody and divorce, said Baker Botts partner Christa Brown-Sanford, who serves on the firm’s Executive Committee and Diversity and Inclusion Committee. She also serves on the New Friends New Life board of directors.

Photo sourced from The Texas LAw book

“It was a good mix of really impactful legal work and fun and just getting to create relationships, not just between Baker Botts and Toyota, but for the members that we were working with and also the New Friends New Life staff,” Brown-Sanford said.

Young said he was drawn to the mission of New Friends New Life when he was introduced to the organization at an event a few years ago. 

“They take people who seem lost to society, who are in a terrible situation, and they restore dignity and self-respect,” Young said, who leads Toyota’s pro bono committee and worked with fellow managing counsel Gunnar Heinisch, who led the New Friends New Life project for Toyota.

He reached out to Brown-Sanford about partnering with Baker Botts, whose lawyers approached the pro bono work the same way they would a paying client, Young said. 

Photo sourced from The Texas LAw book

Going into a general intake pro bono clinic can be daunting, not knowing what kinds of cases you’ll be faced with, Brown-Sanford said. But it’s not about having all the answers, she said. 

“Sometimes it is about us just showing up and being willing to listen and being empathetic and trying to at least be a resource for individuals that have no idea how to even approach their problem,” Brown-Sanford said. 

The women expressed gratitude and relief at being listened to, the lawyers added. 

“It was like they’ve never been heard. They’ve only been dictated and told what to do, and this was an opportunity for them to be heard,” Brown-Sanford said.

Photo sourced from The Texas LAw book

Article sourced from The Texas Lawbook.

Fighting the Big Business of Human Trafficking

Written by Bianca Davis, CEO, New Friends New Life

On January 11th, for the second year in a row, the Dallas skyline was lit up in blue in recognition of Human Trafficking Awareness Day, also known as Wear Blue Day. This show of support and solidarity highlights both a startling reality and a reassuring truth.  Human trafficking is a pervasive crisis that it is happening right here in our own backyard, but Dallas is fighting back.

People are often surprised to learn that human trafficking is the second largest criminal enterprise in the world behind the drug trafficking trade. Defined as the use of force, fraud, or coercion to compel someone to commit a sexual act or to engage in forced labor, this grave violation of human rights is a persistent crisis that hides in plain sight, robbing victims of their most basic and fundamental rights to live free from violence and abuse. At New Friends New Life, where we have served women and girls impacted by sex trafficking and exploitation for the past 26 years, we see the human toll of this crime up close. But, because we also see the transformative power of community, advocacy, and comprehensive support systems, we engage in this fight with hope.

Let me be clear - human trafficking is big business.   In fact, traffickers are profiting $350 billion from this global industry by exploiting an estimated 50 million victims worldwide. But before you assume this is just an international issue, know that Texas ranks second in the United States for trafficking cases with an estimated 313,000 human trafficking victim – 79,000 of whom are minors. In North Texas alone, the commercial sex industry generates $99 million annually, and on any given night, an estimated 400 teen girls are trafficked on the streets of Dallas.

Sex trafficking disproportionately affects women and girls, and the average age a girl is trafficked in the U.S. is just 15 years old. In most cases, she knows her trafficker because he pretends to be the knight in shining armor who can rescue her from real circumstances or even a despondent mindset. As a minor, she cannot be a willing participant. She is automatically a victim, and it is automatically a crime. Whether she is a child or an adult, what we do know is that she would not sign up for this.  Who would sign up for the physical and emotional abuse, the repeated sexual assault, the misplaced guilt and shame, the mental trauma, or the shattered pieces of her life that are left behind if she ever manages to escape “the life”? She has no idea of the web that is being woven for her by a master manipulator who is preying on her vulnerabilities: a young girl struggling with low self-esteem, a single mother unsure how she will feed her children, or a teenager longing for acceptance. Traffickers exploit these natural, human needs with devastating precision.

When she does manage to reach out for help, how is she received? Questions like “Why didn’t she leave?” or “Why did she trust him?” overlook the reality of manipulation, fear, and violence that dominate a victim's life. When someone has been blackmailed, beaten, or ostracized by their community, labeled as being a rebellious teen, or an adult who just made bad choices, the path to safety isn’t clear or easy. The question is not why a victim ended up in such a situation but rather how we can prevent exploitation and offer a path to freedom for those ensnared by it?

At New Friends New Life, our work is about restoring choice and dignity to survivors. Through trauma-informed counseling, case management, and economic empowerment, we are creating a community where women and girls can soar above the limits of their past to achieve their dreams. Over the years, we have identified critical roadblocks to her restoration - like a lack of education or a limited work history - and have built programs that help to remove those barriers. Our Liberty Street Garden, planted in 2023, provides women in our program with income and work experience, while our on-site Learning Academy, launched in 2024, prepares members to pass their GED exams. These victories—large and small—are celebrations of resilience and hope.

But the fight against trafficking is not just about supporting survivors. It is also about identifying and interrupting the systems that enable this crime by addressing the demand. No one agency can do it alone. Businesses must take a stand, by enforcing policies that prevent exploitation, from eliminating online access to pornography on workplace technology to rejecting expenses at sexually oriented businesses (i.e. strip clubs). Legislators must write laws that increase penalties for traffickers and buyers. (There are several bills on the floor at the start of the 89th Legislative Session currently underway that will impact survivors and disrupt demand). Parents must foster open dialogue with children, so they know they are always safe and valued at home – no matter what.

New Friends New Life also opened a Legal Advocacy Clinic in 2022 to address the legal challenges faced by 70 percent of the survivors we serve and work in partnership with law enforcement and the City of Dallas. The recent announcement by the Dallas District Attorney’s Office on the creation of a dedicated Human Trafficking Unit to prosecute trafficking crimes and support survivors serves as another example of how it will take all of us, from every sector and arm, doing whatever we can to engage in the fight against human trafficking. We applaud the City of Dallas for each step they take in the direction of holding perpetrators accountable and supporting survivors.

Human trafficking is big business. As with any business, the consumer drives the profits. To collapse this industry, we must address the demand.  This will mean shifting the culture that has normalized the selling and buying of other human beings.  As one focus group member said in a recent report by the University of Texas at Dallas, “Trafficking starts with one person’s vulnerability and another person’s vice.” It is a statement as stark as it is true.

Ending human trafficking will take all of us. By raising awareness, supporting survivors, and addressing the societal and economic factors that fuel this crime, we can forge a path to lasting change. At New Friends New Life, we’re calling on individuals, businesses, and policymakers to join this movement. Whether through financial contributions, volunteering, or advocacy, every step in the direction of restoration for survivors and accountability for perpetrators, is the right step.

Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall once said, in response to a question around his judgement in the Brown vs. The Board of Education, “You do what you think is right and let the law catch up.”  We are in a time where laws are being written and proposed in a unified mission to disrupt this heinous industry. Combined with the efforts of agencies like New Friends New Life, the corporations, the faith community and every other entity, collaboration can tip the scales toward victory.   Together, we can fight back against the exploitation of the vulnerable. Together, we can create a world where survivors are truly free.  

Your Year-End Giving Makes a Difference

Written by Bianca Davis, CEO, New Friends New Life

We are grateful that 2024 has been a year of BIG WINS for New Friends New Life! From the launch of our Liberty Street Garden Liberty Street Garden Farmer’s Market to the opening of our onsite Learning Academy, and the ongoing efforts of our Legal Advocacy Clinic, NFNL is courageously and strategically removing the barriers survivors face, helping them restore their lives.

While donors just like you have embraced and supported our mission through generous grant funding, attending events like our Annual Luncheon, joining our auxiliary groups, and making individual and corporate gifts of all sizes, we need your help once more to help us meet our year-end goals, and here are a few reasons why….

• We know that money is one of the strongest tethers that keep survivors trapped in the life of trafficking and exploitation. As part of our Women’s Program, NFNL provides financial support to members as they achieve various benchmarks – from obtaining a job to attending their individual and group counseling sessions. As has been reflected in the economy, we have seen an increase in the cost of food (up 10%), transportation (up 14%) and rent/utilities (up 26%) – all basic needs that we help to provide.

• As community needs rise, grant funders are receiving more requests than ever before and many are having to make difficult funding decisions that have resulted in delayed, decreased or denied funding to NFNL and agencies across the board.

Though these challenges are real, we are not deterred or discouraged. Our goal is to raise $200,000 by December 31st, and we believe we can do it with your help.

We are happy to share that a generous donor has pledged a $100,000 matching grant, maximizing your gift dollar for dollar!  To help us unlock this incredible match, please consider making your fully tax-deductible donation of any amount by clicking the button below:

On behalf of our dedicated staff, and the women and girls we serve, we wish you happy holidays and a prosperous and fulfilling 2025!

Thank you for taking a Stand for Her.