When stress speaks: Learning to listen to what our bodies are telling us this holiday season.

By Claudia Davila,Ph. D., Chief Programs Officer

Stress doesn’t always look like worry. Sometimes it looks like exhaustion, a restless night, an upset stomach, or the feeling that we simply cannot slow down.

We live in a world that often celebrates how much we can accomplish, how much we can carry, and how much we can keep going, even when life feels overwhelming. We learn to meet deadlines, care for our families, show up for others, and push through difficult circumstances. And somewhere along the way, we may begin to believe that feeling exhausted is simply a part of being strong.

But what happens when the stress we carry begins to affect our well-being in ways we don’t immediately recognize?

National Stress Awareness Day was recognized on November 4th, and with the holiday season nearing, now is the perfect time to pause and consider an important question: Are we paying attention to what our bodies are telling us? Stress is a natural response to life’s challenges. In the short term, it can help us respond to demands and navigate difficult situations, but when stress becomes prolonged, it can affect much more than our mood. Chronic stress can contribute to sleep difficulties, headaches, muscle tension, digestive discomfort, memory loss, and changes in how our bodies function. It can worsen certain existing health conditions. Sometimes these physical symptoms become the most noticeable signs that something in our lives needs attention.

For example, the relationship between stress and digestive health is well established. The brain and gut communicate through a complex network of nerves, hormones, and other biological signals. Stress can influence this communication and affect digestion, pain sensitivity, and bowel function (NCCIH, n.d.). This does not mean that every physical symptom is caused by stress, but it does remind us that emotional and physical health are deeply connected. Sometimes we focus so much on treating the symptoms that we overlook the stress we may also need to address.

For many women, stress is not simply about having a busy schedule. It is about navigating circumstances that require constant emotional, physical, and mental energy. It may be the pressure of raising children while working to make ends meet; it may be financial uncertainty, caregiving responsibilities, or the challenge of starting over after a major life transition. For survivors of abuse, exploitation, and trauma, stress can be especially complicated. When a person has spent time in circumstances where safety, stability, or control were uncertain, the effects may extend beyond the immediate experience. The body can remain alert, even as a person works towards a more stable future. And when someone has spent years in survival mode, slowing down may feel unfamiliar. Asking for help may feel uncomfortable. Recognizing personal needs may come after everyone else's needs have been met.

I remember a season when I was balancing work, motherhood, divorce, and pursuing a graduate degree. I was focused on my goals and managing the responsibility in front of me. During that period, I experienced digestive symptoms that led to a diagnosis after a medical evaluation, which dissipated after the stress subsided.  That experience was a reminder that even when we are doing meaningful things and moving towards goals that matter to us, we still need to pay attention to our well-being. Sometimes we become so focused on moving forward that we forget to check in with ourselves along the way. We do not need to wait until we are overwhelmed to give ourselves permission to pause. The APA (2022) highlights that managing stress requires identifying personal triggers, building social support, exercising regularly, and practicing mental rest or relaxation.

Check in with yourself. Not to measure how much you have accomplished or how much more you need to do, but to ask a simpler question: How am I really doing? And give yourself permission to listen to the answer. And sometimes taking care of ourselves begins with one simple act: paying attention. That may be where healing begins. 

References

American Psychological Association. (2022, October 31). How stress affects your health. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/health

National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. (n.d.). Stress. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health. https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/stress